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Moving On: 3 Tips for a Happy Life Following Divorce

| Jan 20, 2019 | Firm News

For most of us, January is a hopeful time of new beginnings, new goals, and new challenges. New year’s resolution lists bring hopes of restoration, righting the wrongs of the previous year, and mending its failures. We promise ourselves that we will finally hit the gym, start eating healthy, read more books, call our families more often, and so on. For most of us, January is a period of excitement and pleasant anticipation.

However, if you are recently divorced, you may be entering the new year with a certain degree of fear and anxiety rather than any positive emotion. Even though such feelings are normal in your situation, they can certainly be overwhelming. Whether you initiated the divorce or it caught you by surprise, you may find yourself overpowered with uncertainty. Maybe you’re even asking yourself: “Will I ever be able to move on?”

If the description above sounds uncomfortably familiar, the most important thing you need to realize is that it is completely natural to feel that way. The second most important thing you need to realize is that moving on is, indeed, possible. In this article, you will find 3 practical and positive tips that will not only help you to adjust to life following divorce but will also help you make the most of it. So sit back, relax, read our advice, and start drawing your map to your post-divorce happiness.

Choose Which Emotions to Work Through and Which to Let Go

In the context of life after divorce, not all emotions are created equal. Yes, it is natural to experience grief, anger, and resentment. No, you shouldn’t sweep these emotions under the carpet and keep yourself constantly busy just to forget them or numb yourself in any other way. Each of these emotions can tell you something important about yourself and your new situation. You need to allow yourself some time to experience them.

However, as the days after the divorce turn into weeks and weeks into months, you may notice that you inadvertently cling to some of these emotions. You may also notice that they keep taking their toll on you and your life. If that’s the case, you need to learn that feelings such as regret and bitterness – aimed either at your spouse or yourself – are destructive and keep your life from moving on. It is usually best to just let them go without excuses and without second thoughts.

On the other hand, you may find yourself struggling with grief even months after the divorce. This may be more normal than you think. After all, divorce represents a loss and we tend to respond to a loss with grief. It is important to note that each person deals with grief differently and you shouldn’t feel discouraged if you’re still struggling with this emotion from time to time. Rather, you should acknowledge it and properly respond to it. For example, doing something exclusively for yourself for just 10 minutes each day can help you work through the grief stage in a constructive and healthy way.

Rediscover What Makes You Happy as a Person

Relationships usually require some sacrifices and in the course of your marriage, you might have sacrificed some personal things that made you truly happy. It might have been a passion, a hobby, or a certain social circle. Now, is the time to rediscover these things and the happiness that they used to bring you. Rekindling your past interests well help you rebuild yourself as a person and move on.

Relish Your New Roles

One of the things you may be anxious about when it comes to readjusting to life as a single person is assuming all the responsibilities that for years had been the domain of your spouse. For example, maybe he or she was the one to fill the tax return every year. Maybe he or she used to do the shopping or the repairs around the house. Maybe he or she was the main financial provider for your family. Now, you will need to learn or re-learn to do such things yourself.

While a certain degree of anxiety related to this is normal, rather than worrying about your new roles, try to make the most of them. Take pride in doing things you didn’t use to do before and make a point of it to succeed and exceed. You will likely find that you’re better than you thought at fulfilling some of these new roles and they will become building blocks of your new self, helping you to move on steadily and effectively.

Rotella & Hernandez Offers Trusted Divorce Services and Advice

If you are currently dealing with a legal issue related to a family and divorce, Rotella & Hernandez attorneys can offer your an effective strategy and confident legal representation to solve your predicament and meet your personal goals. Contact us today to obtain a trusted consultation and advice on your case.